I know I haven't posted in a while and I am sorry. This is one of many things I feel guilty about. I never realized that being a mom would be so tough. I figured I was a decent teacher so I could easily be a decent mom. Not as easy as I thought.
Michael is very much living up to "the terrible two's." He destroys toys, rips apart books, and finds it very funny to throw his food and spill his juice. I guess these are all normal two year old behaviors, but Michael was such a sweet and calm one year old that I never saw this coming. I also didn't realize that chemo made him too tired to want to do anything. I will take terrible two's any day over the other.
Anthony is our 3 1/2 year old and this is where much of the guilt begins. I have been so focused on Michael's medical issues that I have taken Anthony's for granted. Yesterday he had an eye appt and it turns out that he needs glasses. I cried. How did I miss this??? I know that this is nothing in comparison to NB, but I was heart broken all over again. I feel like Anthony has missed out on so many things because Michael has needed me a little more. This tears me apart.
Michael is very much living up to "the terrible two's." He destroys toys, rips apart books, and finds it very funny to throw his food and spill his juice. I guess these are all normal two year old behaviors, but Michael was such a sweet and calm one year old that I never saw this coming. I also didn't realize that chemo made him too tired to want to do anything. I will take terrible two's any day over the other.
Anthony is our 3 1/2 year old and this is where much of the guilt begins. I have been so focused on Michael's medical issues that I have taken Anthony's for granted. Yesterday he had an eye appt and it turns out that he needs glasses. I cried. How did I miss this??? I know that this is nothing in comparison to NB, but I was heart broken all over again. I feel like Anthony has missed out on so many things because Michael has needed me a little more. This tears me apart.
But there is one thing that I think I have done okay at. I hug and kiss my boys soooo much. They KNOW I love them. This will work to their advantage in the future and of course to my demise!!
P.S. We are one month late on Michael's scans. (emergency situation for another child, I pray that child will be ok. and Michael had a cold the day of his scans so no anesthesia.)
1 comments:
Forgive your self.
Hug all your boys.
Move on.
Seriously, live comfortably in the truth that you have done your very best on every single day since Michael's diagnosis. The other will take care of itself.
Thanks for posting.
VB
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