This Halloween

It is amazing to see how much Michael has changed in a year. He runs around playing, and screaming and laughing and of course bullying his older brother. He has such a large vocabulary for a 2yo that I am just amazed. Thank you to everyone that has prayed for him and thank you to all the people out there that are trying to make a difference in the NB world. We scan again in Dec and although I am still very scared and probably always will be- I am trying to move forward. I know that life is a gift and am trying to live one day at a time. I hug Mikey and thank God that today I have my Mike. We are so very lucky. Have a safe and happy Halloween. God Bless.

Clean Scans!!!

This is our second round of scans since treatment and they are clean!!!! 7 months in remission!! We are soooo thankful and sooo blessed! Thank you all for your prayers and support. Off to celebrate......

Guilt

I know I haven't posted in a while and I am sorry. This is one of many things I feel guilty about. I never realized that being a mom would be so tough. I figured I was a decent teacher so I could easily be a decent mom. Not as easy as I thought.
Michael is very much living up to "the terrible two's." He destroys toys, rips apart books, and finds it very funny to throw his food and spill his juice. I guess these are all normal two year old behaviors, but Michael was such a sweet and calm one year old that I never saw this coming. I also didn't realize that chemo made him too tired to want to do anything. I will take terrible two's any day over the other.
Anthony is our 3 1/2 year old and this is where much of the guilt begins. I have been so focused on Michael's medical issues that I have taken Anthony's for granted. Yesterday he had an eye appt and it turns out that he needs glasses. I cried. How did I miss this??? I know that this is nothing in comparison to NB, but I was heart broken all over again. I feel like Anthony has missed out on so many things because Michael has needed me a little more. This tears me apart.
Other things I feel guilty about:

• no routine for my children


• 3 1/2 YO not potty trained


• they sleep in our room (and I am ok with this)


• I am not organized at all


• not getting enough exercise , etc

Will I ever get it right?? I am trying. I feel so ADD!!!

But there is one thing that I think I have done okay at. I hug and kiss my boys soooo much. They KNOW I love them. This will work to their advantage in the future and of course to my demise!!

P.S. We are one month late on Michael's scans. (emergency situation for another child, I pray that child will be ok. and Michael had a cold the day of his scans so no anesthesia.)

Happy Birthday Michael!!!!

It was actually on the 21st but I did not get a chance to post that day. I can't believe Michael is 2!! WOW!! Each day he is talking more and more and is soo cute. He even speaks spanish.

Thanks for all of the support and once the cooler weather rolls around we should be able to do more. Houston is really nice Oct- Dec!!

1 Year

Last year I sat in the OR waiting area not sure what would happen. We knew Michael had a mass in his neck, not sure what exactly it was, and that we could biopsy it to find out. Tricky part was the location of the tumor. Sitting snug between a major artery and a vein- along with nerves that control so many things that we do not even think of. This is how our journey began.

At times it feels like a dream. Times I can't believe how we got through. And so many times that I just THANK GOD that he never left us. I know Michael has GOD's favor. He is one loved boy.

Not much going on

Sorry it has been so long. Now that I am dealing with almost terrible two's and ongoing terrible three's - I hardly get a chance to brush my hair.
We started off full speed ahead with LIVING but quickly realized that Mikey may not be all that ready. He is recovering from viral pneumonitis ( i think that is how you spell it). I figured clean scans means full speed ahead. Michael's real issue is trying to build an immune system because even before cancer he really wasn't exposed to much. We kept him at home most of the first nine months of his life because of RSV and other preemie issues. Then we kept him in a "bubble" because of his NB treatments.
He is feeling 100% better after numerous breathing treatments and meds. And is back to bullying his older bro.
The other day it hit me that next month is his 2nd birthday. I can't believe how much he has been through and he is barely going to be 2!! We are very blessed and sooo thankful. As I celebrate his birthday it is also very hard to not forget the friends we lost. Each day is a real gift.
Thank you for all your support and prayers!

Michael's special gift

Michael can speak to animals.